I'm new to multiplayer (23 games, GR:-100, 1v1:306) but not new to FA, i've logged 1000+ hours against the AIs.
It's taken me a very long time to get to 23 games, because exposure to the FAF general community just sends me back to the AI. You need a real tough skin to get started in FAF.
Too many FAF players think NEW==SHIT
Too many FAF players would rather stand on your fingers than help you up.
How the F was i supposed to know an "Air Slot" even exists, let alone that I occupied it! FAF wasnt fun anymore so back to the AI for me. Few of the community are good losers, and even fewer are tolerant of noobs (real ones, not the 500+ ones yeah!).
There's an urgency in multiplayer that doesn't exist when playing the AI, an extra pressure that begins at the loading screen, I often find myself stalling mass and/or power. The need to fight and expand takes my attention from my eco.
This time around i've managed to get my rating from -800 to +300 and as i find my feet i get less and less flak and that makes me more tolerant of the flak that i do get.
You can't change human nature, and I'm a big believer in freedom, so trying to stop the hostility isn't really an option.
You can't take away the urgency from multiplayer because thats what makes it exciting.
My one and only suggestion is to improve access to training.
There are lots of players who want to learn and lots of players who want to teach.
Perhaps we could have some new matchmaking queue types to connect them up. (players would have to specify languages of course)
Please dont simplify the game, i dont think that's the problem.
I just reread the OP and voice connection instead of game lobby sounds good too